How to Be Happy For Others When You're Feeling Stuck | Shine Your idea of success may look different than someone elses. Your email address will not be published. This means that you have to tell him, honestly and clearly, that these comments are hurting your feelings, and that if he cant stop making them, you cant see him until things cool off a bit. Are you physically incapable of doing the thing you want? You make peace with it, treat it well, nurture it, and be grateful for what youre able to do with it. Is it Jealousy? The more we overlook, minimize, or disqualify our own accomplishments, the more hearing of a friends success can lead to feelings of jealousy, envy, frustration, Being that I have been on the receiving end of a few in my time, I advised her on the best way to approach this friend and how to phrase her concerns in a way that might lead to something productive, instead of just an alienated friendship. Have they overcome immense obstacles in order to get where they are now? Take 5 minutes to fill out our surveyitll help us better meet your needs and help those who are struggling. As such, youre not being false to the people you care about, nor are you faking emotion just to keep them content. Handle Your Family's Resistance To Your Growing Success Maybe you werent feeling pizza, but you tried to eat it anyway because it was food, but you had zero appetite for it? Now, dont get me wrong, success does require an immense amount of determination and personal grit. Think about what these rejections mean to you. Dont join an easy crowd. How to Deal When a Friend's Success Leaves You in the All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 10 No Bullsh*t Ways To Be Happy For Others, Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you if you struggle to feel happy for others. You evolved and removed negativity from your life. Applauding envy, on the other hand, is the ability to believe in abundance. (isolation, withdrawal, or loneliness), Have I been wronged, violated, or mistreated? Dont be surprised if these feelings rise up again every now and then. There will almost certainly be a gap of years between your success and that of your friends. We can say that we will be happy to see our friends do well for themselves and acquire great achievement, but the fact of the matter is that we all get a little jealous. When you see someone else succeed, you are reminded of your lack of success. Naming the emotion itself can help defuse itit allows you to decide how you want to respond to your emotions. When youre anxious, the idea of having goals and not achieving them is scary. Although, in theory, it is possible for everyone to succeed, not everyone does. Even when its tough, tell people, Congrats. I know, it can feel difficult. When Im feeling out of sorts, or the weight of the world is bringing me down, I go out onto the range and loose arrows at some targets. Alice Roosevelt Longworth Almost everyone knows the feeling: A friend or colleague has been promoted, has had some success, now has a bigger house, or is making more money, and rather than feeling happy for them, you're depressed and angryand part of you would really like to see them fail. If its at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward. Do you have the kind of people who are going to lead you to live the life of your dreams? There was once a man named Ernest Hemingway. Why Can't I Feel Happy About My Friend's Success? - Vice See more from Ascend here. (grief, languish or sadness), Am I missing the objects, connections, or people that I lost? Write down your answers about what rejection means to you on a piece of paper and be as specific and honest as possible. While this self-reflection will not be an easy task, working through your feelings and understanding what really matters to you will inform what you do next. Look at other schools that have a similar reputation and network. (fear, anxiety, or worry), Is what Im feeling because of shame? If this person has been genuinely good to you in the past, then make that your focus. If youre anything like me, this will almost be physically painful. WebYou will notice that the people that are truly happy for you arent necessarily your closest allies. Be kind to yourself if you fall into the comparison trap, but know youre capable of climbing out of it. So he sought out new friends, he went around to conventions and seminars to connect with people who had made something of themselves. I hope it all works out great for you!, or You deserve that kind of happiness, bro!. When people tell me their good news or great fortune, Im happy for themon the surface. your Select the career path that aligns with you: How many years of experience do you have? Required fields are marked *, Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. That said, envy isnt something to be ashamed about. As long as you are being respectful and kind to this friend, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty about your new position in the professional world. Signs Your Friend Is Trying To Undermine Your Success For instance, you can replace I couldnt even do this. deal with people who arent happy We can be happy and proud about our own successes without looking down on anyone else, or making inferences about their capabilities (which is what society often does when someone is working multiple small jobs instead of one big one). Perhaps youre jealous. So think about what your goals are, and take a look around you. The cornerstone of any healthy relationship is honesty. Are you spending too much time with negative people? Dont feel obligated to express happiness if you dont feel it, but wish them the best instead. Secondly, if you know your good friends are not especially happy with their own lives, it may be wiser not to flaunt your success so much. The five-minute rule may be a little extreme, but there is an important lesson to learn from it: if you surround yourself with positive people who build you up, the sky is the limit. These are among the most common culprits of people not following through on their goals and, as a result, falling short of their potential. The thing to keep in mind here is that just because you see an image of something online, it doesnt mean it represents reality. Shine is supported by members like you. Are you spending your time browsing social media looking at other people achieving their goals? Youre doing things that bring you joy or peace. What company benefits are most important to you? He exchanged ideas with other Greek philosophers in the Academy, learned from his mentor Plato, and taught a young boy named Alexanderwho would later become Alexander the Great.. Try writing down I am statements, following it up with something positive. I know I should feel happy for them, yet I cant help but feel jealous as I see my friends succeed while I face setbacks. There might be an assumption that because you two once had a strong connection, deep down you want them to be happy. I dont want people to resent me, especially my best friend. I didnt consciously realize that I was building a rsum that not only looked very extensive for someone of my age, but was also incredibly diverse. You can always change direction in life, provided that you keep moving forward. Do any emotions show up more than once? But today we are going to look at the one factor that will likely make or break your success: the people you surround yourself with. Once you identify your needs, look for other healthy and meaningful ways to pursue them. This cup of coffee Im drinking is absolutely perfect, but it will be finished in a few minutes, and Ill never have one exactly like it again. WebWhether you want to be more successful, whether you want to be happier and healthier, or whether you want to start taking more vacations even your close friends and family will Have your comments ready before you approach the person, so you know your talking points and have thought about their possible reactions. Sorry, But Most People Are Not Happy To See You Succeed This Single Habit That Will Keep You Successful in the 21st Century, 48 Classic Steve Martin Quotes For Inspiration, 20 Inspirational Alec Baldwin Quotes On Success, 45 Inspirational Shailene Woodley Quotes Just For YOU, Heres Why People Get Mad When You Achieve Success, 7 of the Biggest Enemies Stopping You From Success, Your email address will not be published. Your friend may be happy for you but is in such a low state they just can't express it. Prior to this, I was working up to 6 different part time jobs, everything from retail, to tutoring, to mentoring plus I was (and still am) involved with several different volunteer student groups and initiatives. Is my right elbow drawing back straight, or am I raising it as I pull? The worse your situation and the worse your luck, the more its going to hurt seeing people around you accomplish that which you set out to accomplish yourself. Career and life advice for young professionals. While there are some people that are genuinely happy to see you achieve something great, win the lottery, or lose 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous. If we care about the people hurting us, we owe them a chance to make it right in an adult way, but that means we have to say something. How To Stop Being Envious Of Others: 8 No Bullsh*t Tips. If youre engaging in self-pity, you might find yourself showing up with lower energy than usual. The choice is yours as to whether you want to spend the rest of your days lamenting what you dont or cant have, or striving toward what you can have with consistent work and focus. Maybe youve numbed out to get through something difficult, or youre dealing with your own inner demons and turmoil. Im in my senior year of college, majoring in computer science. Friends But getting over the unfounded feeling of guilt is only the first step the second is demanding that the respect you are giving your friend is reciprocal, and thats the more difficult part. Families whove struggled to earn enough money or have stayed stagnant in their mindset can often feel left behind by a member whos gone on to be extremely successful. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. Theyll be the ones who are worth cultivating long-term, trusting relationships with.